What has been indicated now is that I'm not a moderate drinker. On page 20 of the book Alcoholics Anonymous, we are going to take a look and do some self-diagnosis. We are going to start with the moderate drinker even though we have already decided that we are past that. Then we will go very quickly onto the hard drinker.
"Moderate drinkers have little trouble in giving up liquor entirely. If they have good reason for it, they can take it or leave it alone. Then we have a certain type of hard drinker. He may have the habit badly enough to gradually impair him physically and mentally. It may cause him to die a few years before his time. If a sufficiently strong reason - ill health, falling in love, change of environment, or the warning of a doctor - becomes operative, this man can also stop or moderate, although he may find it difficult and troublesome and may even need medical attention.”
The hard drinker is distinguished from the real alcoholic in the fact that although he may find quitting difficult and troublesome, he can stop, if there is a strong enough reason such as ill health or falling in love or a change of environment, etc. This type is confusing to those of us of the hopeless variety, because he may go to detox and from there to a residential facility and pretty soon, he has started showing up in the 12-step fellowship rooms. He talks about a true experience. It is his experience. But it's not my experience. He just doesn't pick up, no matter what. Nothing has changed in him; he just doesn’t drink. But the condition given was that for sufficient reason, he could stop or moderate his/ her drinking or drug use.
- How many of you blew past all those barriers of sufficient reason?
- How many of you still think you might be a hard drinker because you don’t lose control every time?
- Looking back on those times when you did maintain control, did you honestly know which times those would be?
o If not, did you ever really have control or was it just an illusion of control?
- Can we cross hard drinker off the list?
How many of you still think you might be a hard drinker? Because you don't think you lose control every time? In fact, we even admit to ourselves that, “Yep sometimes I go on a sick one and can’t remember what happened?” or “Sure, I do some dumb shit and end up in places I hadn’t intended” All I want to ask is, if it doesn’t happen every time, do you know which time it will happen? And if you don't know which time, did you ever really have control or is it an illusion? The text later states, “The persistence of this illusion is astonishing, and many of us chase it into the gates of insanity or death” yet here we are. Restored from that. The authors go on to tell us about the real alcoholic or addict:
“But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career, he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption once he starts to drink. Here is the fellow who has been puzzling you, especially in his lack of control. He does absurd, incredible, tragic things while drinking, He's a real Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He is seldom mildly intoxicated is always more or less insanely drunk. His disposition while drinking resembles his normal nature, but little."
I want to draw your attention to the way in which the authors use the third person. If I read about myself in the third person, it's not as assaulting on my ego.
- Who is the fellow who's been puzzling me when I'm actively addicted?
WAIT! I’m the guy puzzling me!! But I always convince myself that it's somewhere out there, happening to some other person. The authors wrote the book so I could safely self-discover while I'm focused on the guy in the book. The authors are helping me to safely face my delusion. Remember, this guy was a stock analyst. He sold million-dollar deals to people. He knew what he was doing. We don't need to change the testimony of this story. Just read the book. He lays out the case. This guy is brilliant.
Have any of experienced a little personality change while under the influence? “I drank a lot, but I’m never drunk.” Any of you ever drive yourself to the detox and when they took your blood alcohol content were told, “Dude, you should be hospitalized.” To which you may have replied something like, “Hence, my arrival. Pretty sure I kept the car in the lines.” As alcoholics we tend to respond in ways that are outside the realm of reasonable. We can be calm in the face of calamity yet go off the rails over tiny things.
- Can you think of any absurd and tragic things you’ve done?
- How many of you know what your normal nature is?
